Episode 61 - Insecurity

A voice inside my head whispers.

"You're not good enough for him."

In spite of the truth, it shakes my faith.

"He doesn't love you; he only loves the benefits of being with you."

So entangled by feelings of insecurity, my head spins, thoughts spiraling out of control, until I believe the lies.

"He'll never feel the same way about you."

My confidence dissolves as I trade my strength for weakness and my joy for pain.

"You're going to lose everything."

I call them my inner demons, but in reality, the voice inside my head is my own. I cannot pass the blame, and it makes me hate myself more.

And so I stand before the mirror to take a cold, hard look at the man staring back at me.

"You are good enough," I tell him.

I say it once. Twice. A thousand times.

"You are loved," I insist.

He doesn't believe me. Not yet.

"Everything will be okay."

With no small measure of hesitation, he trusts me and takes me at my word. Together, we venture into the unknown. It is in the moment my worth is defined. I reclaim the love I refused myself. Clarity and calm chase the turbulence away, and with a deep breath, I let my worries out in a sigh.

The battle is won, but the war is far from over. Tomorrow the voice will return. And every day I will fight the same battle, over and over again. I do not despair, however. For tomorrow, I will be stronger than I was today.

And today I won.